


Unsent Letter: Hak

by Yhanna



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Bare feelings, Drowning, F/M, Hak POV, Lost - Freeform, Lost Love, Regret, Son Hak-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27541231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yhanna/pseuds/Yhanna
Summary: Hi Yhanna here :)My first fanfic since ages. I decided to stop writing on notes and share it here instead. Still getting the hang of the interface here.Only the readable parts of the letter is included in the fic and I might share the full letter later onPlease enjoy :)
Relationships: Son Hak/Yona
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Unsent Letter: Hak

My world is slowly freezing amidst the fire.

I could feel it. This person in my arms is slowly getting cold. I thought I made it. We barely saved ourselves from the explosions bit by bit.

My blood is rapidly staining her clothes. I have lost count of how many stabs pierced through my abdomen. My mind is paralized from this pain while carrying her as I tried to hide on one of the huts. I ran as I see fire engulfing everything in my vicinity.

Minute by minute I am losing everything in me. But why is she the one slowly getting cold instead of me?

I found a way to the outside camp. The nearby house is burning and the smoke is reaching our place. I covered her mouth when I noticed something. She is not breathing. She is not moving. I used my own body to warm her. I can’t understand what is happening. I need to get us out of here. The smoke is slowly killing us.

Killing us...this is because she is still alive, right?

I pulled myself up carrying her. I screamed as I pushed my knees to its limit. Still, I’m collapsing. Everything is collapsing. 

“Hak!” 

...

“Hak, I love you.” She whispered using the last of her breath.  
  


It’s bitter. The medicine I’m slowly drinking is bitter. I could feel myself getting ahold of my senses. Faint voices on the background…am I still on the enemy’s den?

“Hak is awake! Call Kija and Jaeha.”

His voice is familiar. Why can’t I recall his name? Is the princess also awake? I could hear footsteps approaching. These unregular footsteps. These four must be from the princess’ chamber.

“Hak! Don’t move just yet. Your wounds are still fresh. They just stopped bleeding.” Kija spoke up.

Another voice answered. For sure it was Jaeha from the sound of his footsteps approaching me.

“You lost a lot of blood and inhaled too much smoke. We’ll handle things first while you recover.”

“Cess…Princess”

“Hak…” Kija took a deep breath. “The princess is not here anymore.”

Not here? Is she still taken by the enemy kingdom? Is she taken by Soo-Won? Is she taken by someone else?

I pushed myself, but my body is not responding. My head is spinning. My eyes could only view the colors of their hair and their bodies moving. How long was I asleep?!

“We have to save her!” I screamed but my voice seemed to have been affected by the fire. I was able to stand but they pushed me back to bed.

No one answered. For seconds it was quiet. For another minute I could see clearer and they all looked at me with disdain.

The princess is not here and I’m doing nothing. I was so sure I held her and saved her. Saved her? What did Kija say again? The princess is not here…anymore. The sensation in my hands reminded me of her body slowly dying.

She wasn’t breathing before I even collapsed.

I never made it in time.

I failed protecting her life.

“I have to see her.” I pushed myself to move but Kija carried me on his back.

“This is not your fault. We dragons failed protecting her.” He said as we walked towards the next room. I can barely hold my own. It was a simple small bed. A plain brown blanket covered her body. Her short red hair is the only thing showing. Her feet decayed visible with marks of chains. This is the princess. She was chained when I retrieved her. Even in her death she wasn’t free.

“I’m...sorry.”

I was selfish. I was too confident. I thought I was strong enough to protect you. I missed to think of how much you were struggling.

Do you remember when we fell from the cliff?

I never thought about surviving. I only thought of saving you. I embraced you tightly so that no leaf would scar you. It was the first time you embraced me. I knew you were clinging for your life that everyone keeps taking. I knew you were letting go of your life that betrayed you. I assured you of a new life haphazardly shifting on those prior two.

I’m embracing you so tightly you might die. Why aren’t you embracing me as back then? I heard you when I reached you in the enemy camp. Why aren’t you saying it now? I was supposed to answer you now!

You can’t die! You can’t leave me while I fight to live right now! Why am I so strong but not strong enough to wake you?!

“You can’t die like this! You are the princess…” I embraced her tighter I even heard bones break. “You can’t die so horribly like this.”

Yoon tried pulling me off her until I lost consciousness. I have forgotten how many hours had passed. I have forgotten where we were headed. I never attended when they buried her on top of the mountain where the four dragons had gathered. It wasn’t a special place. It was the nearest place which held significance. There were no ceremonies, only Yoon and the dragons were there. No tribe had yet learned of her passing.

They said she laid down over simple crimson flowers. No ornaments, no special clothing. Nothing. Her death didn’t resolve anything. It wasn’t heroic. The war still goes on. The rebuttal of the neighboring countries is still non-stop.

I shut in silence and just followed where they were heading. They wouldn’t let me out of their sight. We hopped on multiple cities. Tension is rising among the four but Zeno keeps them together.

“Hak, I found this when I cleaned her body.” The same familiar voice. It was Yoon. Why do I keep associating his voice with someone else? With the four dragons I was able to quickly associate them due to their footing. They all have been by my side the whole time I was recovering.

He…He has the same manner of walking as her. He has the same body built. Whenever he comes am I unconsciously asking for him to be her? Am I hoping that the voice I would hear is hers instead of Yoon’s? Her voice… the last thing I remembered of her voice was when I carried her.

“Hak, I love you.” It was as if she used her last breath. Did she? I heard her clearly that time but an explosion followed. I told myself I will answer her when we come back. I intended to tell her that I can only be her follower…her protector.

But knowing that she’s gone now, feelings of wanting her by my side resurfaced.

He handed out a bloodsoaked paper. It was a folded letter.

“The envelope was soaked with your blood. I think she tried to slip it into your clothes while you were carrying her.”

A letter. The princess rarely writes letters. She is outspoken and tries to make herself clear all the time. I knew her since childhood. I know when she lies, when she tries her best to be strong. I know when she is genuinely worried.

I knew when she realized her feelings for me. And I also knew that those feelings were superceeded by her sense of duty for Kouka kingdom. I knew how she was thankful for having the dragons by her side. And by how worried she was into leading them into despair.

I opened it, but the blood stains had soaked the majority of the letter. The princess was forced to study but she’d rather play outside and go with us.

The kingdom was taken from her without haste. Yet saving the kingdom was instilled to her fate. Now, after everything, she was thrown by the kingdom like food waste.

I can’t be angry. I have no right to be weary.

I tried to place the letter under the light. Only the midparts were unreadable. 

_“Kouka is in danger. Return to the capital with the dragons instead of chasing me. I will find my way.”_

Kouka is in danger?

Kouka is in danger? You…you were the one in danger. I know this trait of you but hearing this boils me.

No. Hearing anything about you boils me. I only read the first line and I’m already exhausted. I promised myself that I will continue your will. But princess, I still can’t accept this. Everything of this world screams of you. How am I supposed to live when only you warm me?

_“I’m writing this in case I was brought to another camp before we could meet. War is emerging, and I trust you will come on time but I wrote this for another reason. I was able to ask favors here in exchange of being chained. These bottled up feelings. Is it possible for me to relay them? Will you accept them?”_

No.

This is a letter for me. Is it really? Am I allowed to read this. I have sworn to dedicate everything of me for her wishes… for her protection…I have always been against leaving her alone!

No. I can’t do this without you. I could feel my scars being engulfed by ice. I’m shivering. Without your fire my life isn’t worth mentioning.

_“The four dragons have revered to me as their master. That I am the red dragon. The fire tribe described me as a person who will burn Kouka’s enemies. Hak, who am I to you? Because for me you are my wind, there is no fire without you.”_

Why would you ask that princess?

_“I have brought my misery along with you. You left everything to serve me. You sacrificed your existence. I burned you countless times. If I ask you, will you be forced to answer?”_

Why would you ask this?!

_“Still, Hak. After all of this, stay with me. I’ll say it in front of you. So make sure to stay with me._

_Yona”_

“Stay. Stay with me!” I tore down the paper into pieces, grabbed my spear to leave the room but Yoon was there to stop me. Even in my state I could push him away, but instead I pointed my spear to my heart.

I have stopped crying long ago. I will not cry today. This is my failure. I will atone for this.

Who you are to me?! You are my lifetime. I am merely a visitor in your world. I have never considered myself as a person who could be beside you. I could only be your shield to fend your enemies, your spear to strike your ideals, your blanket during winter.

You are my finality.

I have loved you even before I learned who I am. I have stayed with you even before I knew how to live.

When we escaped, as I embraced you through the cold summer, you cried for him.

When you were betrayed, you held on to everything to understand him.

When you met him again, you tried to forgive him.

Why is it that you have to choose me at the cost of you?

Why do you need to say all of this without you?

Asking me to stay without you cannot be the last wish I will ever follow.

It took all four dragons to stop me. It took four days to stabilize me. It took four weeks to reach the capital. We are doing what you willed for us to do. You have taught the five of us to be genuine.

You are my fire Princess Yona, you once burned me with your passion to be righteous. You once embraced me and everything felt certain. Now only questions remain.

Without you, I’m still burning. It’s agonizing. It’s chilling.

I’m drowning in this frozen abyss of memories with you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Yhanna here :)
> 
> My first fanfic since ages. I decided to stop writing on notes and share it here instead. Still getting the hang of the interface here. 
> 
> Only the readable parts of the letter is included in the fic and I might share the full letter later on  
> Please enjoy :)


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